


Unchanged, Undying

by choi_kimmy



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:51:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7580473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choi_kimmy/pseuds/choi_kimmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey only believes in things he can see, things he can understand and comprehend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unchanged, Undying

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this AU!Darvey fic to my twinnie, Kira, for her endless support. This fic is also written in present tense, but I'm never really good in tenses so if there are any mistakes, please forgive me. This fic has a simple plot/premise, but I hope you'll still enjoy reading it nonetheless!
> 
> This fic is also translated to Russian (here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/6395858) ! Thank you to the wonderful Blauwe Hommel for wanting to translate my fic! :)

 

 

 

 

 

Harvey Specter believes in many things.

He believes that the sky is blue, believes that smiling is a form of manner and courtesy. He believes that happiness depends on yourself, that it is up to you to shape your own future. He believes that, while education is important, money triumphs over everything else. He believes that justice isn’t always served to people who deserved it most; the rule of law is flawed.

Harvey only believes in things he can see, things he can understand and comprehend.

Which is why, Harvey doesn’t believe that everything happens for a reason. He’d rather believe that things happened because he _made_ it happen and not because of the universe, or in a cheesier way to put it, fate or destiny. It’s silly to think that way, Harvey says.

Harvey also doesn’t believe in love, be it the concept or the actual feeling itself, because the last time Harvey thought he knew what love was, his parents’ marriage had fallen apart. He just couldn’t comprehend the idea of loving another person so much his heart would long for her, or his mind wouldn’t stop thinking of her.

Harvey doesn’t believe in love because he has yet to _see_ love. He doesn’t believe in the saying that the _universe is responsible_ because how can he see that? How can he tell that something happened because fate wanted it to happen?

“It doesn’t make any sense.” He once told his father when he was just a boy, and Gordon Specter had laughed it off.

“You’ll understand one day, son.” Gordon replied with a pat on his son’s back.

“When is that going to happen?” Harvey vaguely remembered asking his father that in response, or something along the line, he didn’t exactly remember anymore.

What he remembers clearly though, up till today, was that Gordon had looked back at him with a huge grin, eyes that were glistening and had answered in his ‘isn’t this the most obvious’ tone;

“When you fall in love, of course.”

 

\--

 

Harvey didn’t know why or how he ended up in this place—an auditorium in the Faculty of Arts and Sciences. All he knew was that he had been bored to death in his own lecture earlier, and has taken an impromptu decision to walk around the campus aimlessly. It was by chance that he decided to walk into the first faculty he had seen other than his own, and it was by yet another chance that he had randomly walked around the faculty and into the first hall he could see—the auditorium, the heart of the students of this faculty.

The moment he steps in though, Harvey realizes it has been a mistake.

There are props and a huge backdrop onstage, people scurrying from one end to another holding mountains of things on their hands. Harvey takes a few steps down the stairs and pauses, furrowing his eyebrows at the scene in front of him.

It’s unfamiliar, definitely, given that he has never once stepped into a different faculty other than his own law school, but it only took one glance for Harvey to know that he has walked into a theater class, or something like that. He shudders; Harvey isn’t exactly fond of acting or drama, and he is sure that he will not be able to gain anything by hijacking a group of drama people. So, Harvey turns around and begins to walk away when suddenly, a male student with spectacles blocks his pathway.

“Excuse me,” The student says in a stern tone, arms crossed. “What are you _still_ doing standing here?”

“What?” Harvey replies, confused. “I was just making my way o—“

“Haven’t you heard my callings for you?” The student continues, throwing his hands in the air at the way Harvey is now looking at him. “You’re giving me that clueless look, _why_ are you giving me that look?”

Harvey sighs. “Look, I’m not—“

The student blatantly ignores Harvey, slapping both his hands together. “Wait, you must be the new dude the Technical Club promised to send over.”

“Uh I’m—“

“Sorry, I don’t have the time to welcome you properly, the Dean is coming soon to watch the rehearsal so just…go to the backstage, the people there will direct you on what you need to do. It’s a simple task, really, don’t fret yourself.”

With that, the young man moves away, his attention now towards the stage rather than the still bemused Harvey standing on the stairs. He has half the mind to just slip out _now_ , before he gets too deep into this weird mess, but before he could act on his thought, the young man glances behind his shoulders and their eyes meet. Albeit briefly, Harvey knows that the last thing he should do now is to leave the auditorium, especially not when the young man has given him yet another ‘get your ass moving’ look.

Harvey makes his way awkwardly towards the back, not knowing exactly where to go but merely following his intuition. It isn’t long before he spots several other people all clad in the same basic black tee he is wearing, all busy with their assigned tasks. Not wanting to seem out of place, Harvey walks straight into the crowd of crew members, blending in perfectly with them that suddenly it all made sense why the man in spectacles had mistaken him to be one of his backstage crew team.

The only thing different, which sets him apart from the rest is that, he is merely standing there, doing nothing, and if anyone is to glance in from the backstage door, Harvey is sure he would stick out like a sore thumb.

 

_Great,_ he thinks to himself, _what do I do now?_

Not knowing what to do, Harvey begins to walk around again. After all, this is his first and probably the last time he can ever witness a backstage crew working for a play. Might as well witness with his own eyes, what makes a theatrical play so special.

_Wow,_ Harvey nearly knocks into a crewmember carrying a huge prop. The crew doesn’t bother to apologize as he moves away. _What sort of madness is this?_

“Hey, watch out!” A sudden cry from the side stops Harvey in his tracks. A woman hurries forward and tucks the spread of cloth on the floor safely into her arms. “You nearly stepped on the backdrop, sheesh.” She is gone before Harvey could even mumble an apology.

Harvey is halfway through the backstage when he comes to a conclusion that it is pure madness just to be here. All of a sudden, Harvey finds himself thinking of the law library, where peace and serenity are very much guaranteed the second someone steps into the building.

“Why are you standing here? Move!”

“Hello, you’re blocking the stage!”

“Calm down,” Harvey mutters under his breath as he takes a step back—and feels his back knocking into someone’s. He flinches in reflex, ready to string a sentence of apology just as the person he has bumped into turns around to face him.

As dramatic as it may seem, Harvey is suddenly speechless. He has come face to face with a young lady adorned in full ancient wardrobe, hair done perfectly in a twist Harvey swears the last he has seen was on his history textbook. Her outfit is self-explanatory; this woman is one of the casts of the play. The backstage’s light is dimmed, but if Harvey focuses properly, he could make out the redness of the young woman’s hair.

Needless to say, Harvey has never met a redhead as beautiful as this human standing in front of him. 

“Cat got your tongue?” She speaks, an amused look on her face as she touches the crease of her dress. She sighs, her attention no longer on Harvey but instead, on the garment she is wearing. “I _can’t_ believe this wasn’t ironed properly, what if the Dean sees this?”

“He won’t.” Harvey says before he could stop himself, and the lady actress directs her attention back at him.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t seen you here before.” She says, a little hostile just as Harvey puts on the best smile he could muster.

“Oh, I’m new here.” _Wait, what?_

“Huh.” The redhead nods, the same amused expression appears on her face again. “For someone who is not in our play, you sure can act.”

 

Harvey is surprised at that statement, but keeps his face straight. “What makes you think I’m lying?” He corrects himself quickly. “Acting, I mean.”

“Please,” She lets out a laugh. “I could tell you’re not one of us since the moment you walked through the door.”

“That’s impossible, you weren’t anywhere near the door when I came in.” Harvey crosses his arms together, still smiling.

There is a pause before the redhead speaks again, “So, what do you think of our play? Of the role I’m playing? Do you think I deserved the happy ending here?”

Harvey grins easily. “I told you, I’m new here. But I sure as hell won’t say no to a happy ending.”

“Oh, stop it,” She replies with a playful roll of her eyes. “Even if you’re new here, you would at least know the basic storyline of Antony and Cleopatra and that it _doesn’t_ end happy.”

At that, she begins to walk away. “Try harder next time. The door’s that way out, but you’re welcomed to stay and watch from the seats outside.”

“Good luck,” Harvey calls out, “and don’t worry, the dean or not, he will not see the crease. No man has eyes for such details.”

“Thanks but,” She turns behind briefly. “our dean’s a _she_ , by the way.”

Harvey watches her leave, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he gingerly walks into the direction where she has pointed earlier. Since he is already here, he figures that he should stay till the end at the very least, just to see how good this woman is as an actress. He pretty much already has high expectations, given the way she has acted around him.

The rehearsal starts ten minutes later. Harvey is sitting at the last row in the auditorium, far away from the eyes of the guy in spectacles—the director, he has learned by now—and notes the arrival of the Dean of whichever department everyone is, here in this auditorium.

The scene doesn’t open with the woman he has encountered at the backstage, unfortunately, but she appears soon enough after that. Harvey is stunned once again, for the moment she has stepped on the stage, he is not reminded of the woman backstage, but the role of Cleopatra, which she is bringing to life.

 

Harvey has always thought very little of plays, or the arts in general. He thought of it as of no use, ridiculous even, and simply a waste of time. He would mock his brother endlessly when Marcus told him he was going to watch a play with his girlfriend, he would shake his head and say he doesn’t understand what’s so interesting about a bunch of people acting to be different people on stage.

But today, right at this very moment, Harvey feels a strange and rather warm feeling inside. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from the redhead, the way the tone of her voice changes at every sentence, the way her facial expressions seem to speak volumes regarding her emotions, the way she quivers and trembles – she is simply mesmerizing to watch.

Harvey doesn’t understand why he feels disappointed when her scene is over, when she leaves the stage. He doesn’t understand why he finds himself sitting straighter in his seat when she reappears, doesn’t understand why he is holding onto his breath at each line she delivers, or how half-an-hour passed by so quickly before he could even realize.

All he could understand is that he _has_ to come to this play, again. He has to talk to this young lady, again.

 

-

 

The next afternoon, Harvey takes his chance after Contracts lecture to sneak into the Faculty of Arts and Science again. He tries his best to retrace his steps, though it is a proven difficulty as he had aimlessly wandered around yesterday. He sees a random student in the hallway, and decides it is best to just ask him where the auditorium is. The student stares at him blankly for a few seconds before pointing down the hallway. “Turn left and take another left.”

Harvey mumbles his thanks and speed walks towards the direction given. He spots the auditorium then, and taking a deep breath, Harvey pauses right in front of the entrance.

Harvey peeks in carefully, not wanting to come face to face with the director again, and finds himself somewhat disappointed to see no one around in the venue. He frowns, realizing that he must be going crazy—why is he wasting his time like this when he could be practicing mooting?

“Harvey Specter, you are seriously out of your mind.” He mumbles to himself as he takes a cautious step into the auditorium. Groaning inwardly, Harvey forces himself to walk forward, down the flight of steps before halting in the middle. “Seriously? Are you seriously doing this?” He asks himself out loud, the disappointment in him piling up at the silence in the auditorium. Harvey shakes his head and begins to turn around, when he hears a voice coming from the back.

 

“If it isn’t the outsider from yesterday.”

“Jesus Christ!” Harvey nearly jumps out of his shoes—how the hell did he not see her earlier when he stepped inside? 

The same redhead he has met yesterday laughs, and Harvey realizes immediately that unlike yesterday’s extravagant outfit, she is wearing a plain top today, her red hair cascades over her shoulder and down her back. Harvey is sure that she isn’t wearing as much makeup from yesterday yet she looks twice as beautiful.

_“I’m seriously turning mad.”_ He shakes his head, but stays rooted at his spot.

“You know, for someone studying the law, I would assume you aren’t such a scaredy-cat.” She speaks again, dropping the book she is holding on her lap as she gives her fullest attention towards the stranger in the auditorium.

“How?” Harvey asks, but realizes immediately that he is wearing his Harvard law t-shirt today. No wonder the student earlier looked at him funny when he asked for directions. _Way to go at trying to blend in, Specter._

“I’m Donna.” The redhead replies, though not exactly answering his question.

He raises an eyebrow in amusement. “I didn’t ask for your name.”

“But you were _going_ to.” The redhead—Donna—remarks with a nonchalant shrug. “Besides, you were already curious about my name since yesterday itself, so…”

Harvey doesn’t know what to say, so instead, he just smiles. It’s weird that someone other than Jessica (his mentor and confidant) could make him speechless, let alone smile like a twelve year old who has had no experience with girls. “Why are you here all alone?” He finally speaks again after a long pause.

“Why are _you_ here?” Donna counters in a playful tone as she stands, leaving her seat and onto the aisle so that she is standing a few steps above and opposite Harvey. “And you haven’t told me your name yet.”

“I’m Harvey.” He says, imitating the way she has introduced her name earlier. “And I had some free time so I thought I’d drop by and give some moral support.”

Donna shakes her head. “We just met yesterday, _Harvey._ ”

“Well,” Harvey climbs a step higher, still locking gaze with the fiery redhead. “That doesn’t mean I can’t come to give support to a friend, _Donna_. I mean, we’re already on a first name basis with each other.”

“Oh so we’re friends, now?” She’s chuckling in a tone Harvey knows as bemused. “I’m just surprised a law student is interested in this. I would have imagined that all you would be interested in are books and cases.”

“I wasn’t,” Harvey says in the flattest tone possible, “Until I saw you on stage.”

 He isn’t sure if there is a faint blush appearing on her cheeks, or if it is just her hair and lighting that are exaggerating things, but Harvey continues, “You were brilliant yesterday.”

“Are you saying this just to get into my pants because I swear you will have to try a lot harder than this.” Donna’s reply surprises Harvey, and he quickly shakes his head.

“No, I mean what I said.” He pauses before adding, “It’s a compliment.”

There is a sudden silence that Harvey perceives as Donna trying to make out if his remark had been sincere. He shoves his hands in his pockets and made his way to the top step, now standing right beside the still silent redhead. “Well, I’ll see you around, then.”

Harvey wishes she would say something, but seeing that Donna is still silent, he leaves the auditorium, his heart sinking a little.

 

\--

 

He doesn’t go back to Donna’s faculty after that. It’s been two days since Harvey’s encounter with the theater student, and every time he lets himself think of the redhead, Harvey would groan out loud, wishing he could rewind time and not screw up so early. Now, Harvey is almost sure that he has scare the young woman away and he could no longer mend the bits of friendship he had with her.

Which is why, when Harvey steps out of his own faculty after class that afternoon, he finds himself halting in his steps, wondering if he is imagining things or _is that redhead really standing there by the entrance?_

Their eyes meet, and Harvey forgets how to breathe once again.

“So, this is your second home.” Donna is the first to break the silence between them. She is wearing a small smile, cautious even, as she continues, “As fancy as its namesake, I suppose. I wouldn’t have expected any less.”

“What are you doing here?” Harvey blurts out before he could stop himself. He cringes almost immediately, mentally slapping himself. He had meant to say _Donna! What a pleasant surprise, how are you?_ and not—

“What, you can visit my faculty and I can’t do the same for yours?” Donna replies with a shrug, her smile falters slightly.

Harvey wishes he could dig a hole and bury himself in it now. He couldn’t, so instead, he grins. “Of course you can! I was just caught off-guarded. Er…”

Of all the moot competitions he had joined, Harvey has never lost before. He had turned the outcome of even the most complicated situations using just words, left everyone in shock, yet here he is today, tongue-tied in front of a theater student.

“I was just kidding.” Donna says with a laugh. “The other crew members are selling tickets to our play outside your faculty. Hence.”

“So you aren’t here to see me?” He teases just a little and notes how her ears turn pink at that statement. Secretly pleased, Harvey shrugs as nonchalant as he could. “You’re here because you’re trying to get me to buy your play tickets.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Donna says in a tone equally as nonchalant as his. “I just figured, hey, why not ask the great Harvey Specter to come watch our play and at the same time, lure his fifty fangirls along?”

Harvey grins even wider at that. “You know my last name.” He says as a matter of fact, and for the briefest of second, he could see Donna pausing mid-air, as if realizing that she had just revealed a secret to him.

“Of course I do. I’m _Donna_.” She says, point blank. “I know everything.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Harvey’s face hurts from all the smiling, but his grin doesn’t falter. “Hey, I was wondering if you’d be—“

“Are you asking me out for dinner?” The redhead interrupts, her expression surprised, though there is a mischievous glint in her eyes that says otherwise.

“Well I tried to,” He ignores the sudden loud thumping of his heart against his chest. _Goddamnit, why are you like this, Specter? Get yourself together!_ “So…dinner tonight, maybe, perhaps?” _Please just say yes?_

 

She doesn’t answer, merely smiles before turning around with a toss of her hair.

“So is that a yes or a no?” Harvey calls out, somewhat amused that the redhead has walked away without saying anything. Donna turns back slightly, a grin on her face as she shrugs. “Text me the location!” She replies before disappearing into a corner.

“What, how? I don’t have your--” He panics, suddenly realizing that he has got to step up in his game if he wants to win the heart of this redhead.

_Wait, did I just say win the heart of—_

 “Holy shit, Harvey Specter. Were you just talking to _the_ Donna Paulsen?”

Instantaneously upon hearing that voice, Harvey groans. “Louis, I don’t need you to…wait, did you just say Donna Paulsen?” Suddenly, he is grinning again. “So that’s her last name, huh?”

 Louis Litt rushes to his side, his eyes so wide that Harvey raises an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Donna Paulsen.” He simply says, pointing at the direction where the redhead had disappeared to. “How do you know her?”

There’s a sudden uncomfortable feeling that is rising in his stomach, a certain green-eyed monster that even Harvey couldn’t comprehend as he furrows his eyebrow at his fellow batchmate. “I owe you no explanation, Louis. How do _you_ know her?”

“I owe you no explanation, Harvey.” Louis mimics him, both rolling their eyes at the same time. “Don’t you know exactly _who_ that is? Donna Paulsen, she played Lady Olivia in the Twelfth Night play, Juliet in Romeo and Juliet and was even the understudy of—wait, why am I telling you this? Don’t tell me you _don’t_ know?”

Fascinated that Louis knows so much about theaters and plays, Harvey merely shakes his head. “I guess not.” He says kindly, just so he could hear Louis speak more of the redhead he can’t seem to stop thinking about.

“Jesus Christ, what do you even know, then?” Louis throws his hands in the air, frustrated. “Why was she here? What did she tell you?”

Harvey definitely does not want to reveal anything to Louis, so instead, he shrugs and says, “She came to sell tickets for her faculty’s play—“

“She came to _sell_ tickets for her latest play and you couldn’t have mentioned this earlier?!” Before Harvey could register what just happened, Louis is already running down the steps. Harvey shakes his head, preparing to walk in a different direction when something jolts in his mind.

“Louis, do you happen to know—“ He calls out, suddenly rushing to trace Louis’ footsteps before the man disappears from his view.

 

\--

 

It is 8 at night and Harvey couldn’t stop smiling. Dinner has never tasted so delicious, in his opinion, and he is definitely sure his current mood is not because of the food, but because of the redhead sitting opposite him.

 “You didn’t ask me how I got your number.” He says, just to break the silence as he slices his meat slowly. Harvey is being extra cautious and polite, knowing that the woman in front of him is watching his every move.

Donna takes a sip of her wine, letting a few seconds pass by. “Louis Litt.” She answers in the end, and Harvey’s face splits into an awed grin.

“Right, I forgot you know everything. But anyway, thanks for coming out tonight.”

Donna simply smiles as she resumes her meal. In honesty, it isn’t every day that she would agree to go out for dinner with a person she barely knows, but tonight is one of the few exceptions. And so far, much to her relief, the evening has been quite pleasant.

After dinner, Harvey walks Donna back, both making small talks along the way. In that fifteen minutes, Harvey found out that her dream is to become a successful actress, that she’s in her third year in drama school, that she is friends with Louis for quite some time (he grunts at that, silently), though she has never accepted his bizarre invitations to go mudding. Harvey found out that she lives alone, wants to have a pet cat she would name ‘Ginger’, and that her hair color is natural.

 Most importantly, Harvey also found out that she’s not seeing anybody at the moment. And that itself, is valuable information to him.

“Enough about me. Though I very much _love_ that our conversation is about me, let’s talk about you now.” Donna says. “What’s Harvey Specter’s life about? Any secrets you’re keeping, ooh, can I trust that you’re walking me back safely to my home?”

 

Harvey laughs at that implication. “Haven’t you heard of that saying where you shouldn’t ever trust a lawyer?”

“I have,” Donna replies, “but you flatter yourself too much, you’re only a law student now.”

“What, you don’t think I’ll become one in the future?”

Donna is smiling, “You might end up working in a mailroom for all I know.”

 

“Shucks, you think so little of me.” Harvey merely chuckles. This woman is something, definitely. All his past dates had fawned over his future prospects as a lawyer, yet there is a woman here today who doesn’t think he would become one in the future.

 She laughs, and Harvey thinks it’s the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.

They fall into a silence then, rounding a corner as Donna turns away. She is humming slightly, looking at everywhere except his direction. Even Harvey doesn’t know what to say, which is ironic given how he almost always seem to have things to say all the time. He steals a few glances sideway as discreetly as possible, though Harvey is sure that she realizes. There is something about the redhead that he can’t seem to pinpoint, but she’s making him flustered and Harvey doesn’t know exactly how to react to this strange feeling in his stomach.

Donna is the first to stop walking, standing directly under the street lamp, and when Harvey turns back to look at her, his breath catches in his throat at how beautiful she looks at that moment. It takes him everything not to stare at her. She points at the apartment beside when their eyes meet. “We’re here.” She says softly, and Harvey is somehow disappointed that their first date is over.

“Before I go, I just wanted to apologize.” Donna says with a sheepish smile on her face before elaborating further. “For that time, for misunderstanding your intentions.”

It takes Harvey a few seconds to register her apology. He is confused for a moment, unable to remember what she is referring to, until it hit him that Donna was talking about their second meet in the auditorium—the one where she had accused him of wanting to “get in her pants”.

“Donna,” Harvey steps closer, his voice a low whisper. “you don’t have to apologize.”

“It was a compliment, and I should have taken it as that.” She shrugs slightly. “It’s just that—“

“You were being cautious. I wouldn’t blame you.” Harvey shakes the matter off easily, not wanting her to feel that she was obliged to say sorry. “And for the record, I still stand by what I say about you being a brilliant actress. You were the star of the entire play, and that was only just the rehearsal.”

 Donna smiles again, and Harvey is almost sure his heart just did a somersault. He gulps nervously, coughing slightly so that she doesn’t know he’s suddenly feeling nervous for reasons he cannot seem to fathom.

 “Thank you, Harvey. That’s really something, coming from someone who isn’t a fan of plays.”

“Well, consider myself a Donna fan.” Harvey wants to cringe the second that came out from his mouth, but Donna lets out a hearty laugh and he couldn’t help but to laugh as well. “Sorry, I don’t know why I keep saying all these weird stuffs.”

“Oh come on, it isn’t weird.” Donna is quick to defend that statement. “Plus, it’s nice knowing that I have a fan.”

“What, Louis Litt isn’t enough for you?” Harvey teases and Donna rolls her eyes playfully. Another silence overlaps them as Harvey shifts his feet uncomfortably. He doesn’t want to leave just yet, and he has a feeling that the redhead shares the same sentiment as him.

 

“Harvey,” Donna pauses, letting a few seconds pass before saying, “Do you want to come up?”

The invitation catches Harvey by surprise. Suddenly, he doesn’t know what to say.

 

“I mean, we could have coffee…or tea, whichever you want.” Donna tries to make it as nonchalant as possible, but Harvey could sense that she is flustered, equally as nervous as him. She doesn’t continue her sentence, though they are both aware of the implication behind that invitation.

“Look, Donna.” Harvey starts again, their eyes meeting once again. This time though, none of them look away. “You should know by now that I am interested in you. _Very_ interested, if you’d like to put it in that way.”

Donna’s lips twitches upwards, though she forces herself not to smile. “But?”

Harvey couldn’t believe what he is about to say next, but forces himself to continue. “But before… _anything_ happens, I want to know you better, first.”

Somehow or rather, Donna chuckles slightly. But she keeps mum, prompting Harvey to continue.

“I want to take you out on dates. Bring you to the movies, go out for meals and coffees. I want to know your favorite things, your dislikes and likes. I really want to _know_ you better, Donna Paulsen.“

Donna looks down as she tries her best to hide the smile on her face. “There’s another saying which I’ve heard…something about lawyers being liars?”

“Well, like you said earlier, I am only a law student now.” Harvey grins, then softens his tone. “But I can assure you that I am telling the truth.”

There is another pause as Donna lifts her head to look at Harvey. She studies his expression, the way he is looking at her, how he’s standing, how he simply stares at her for a response. If there is one thing Donna’s proud about herself, is her ability to read people, what they’re thinking, if they really mean what they say, or if it is superficial. It is also the reason why she felt compelled to see Harvey again after she accused him that time, to apologize for misunderstanding. Tonight, Donna looks at Harvey and sees only a gentleman who is true to his words.

 

“So…I’m assuming you’re not coming up?” She asks finally, her voice measured, quiet, though she has a small smile on her face.

 

Harvey is many things; smart, witty, impatient, and to a certain extent, a Casanova. He’s had many dates with many girls, many nights even, with them, yet none of them could amount to the feeling he has for the woman in front of him right now.

A week ago, Harvey didn’t believe in love. Didn’t believe it was even within his capability to come close to falling in love. He didn’t believe that everything happens for a reason. Didn’t believe that sometimes, fate _does_ exist.

But after tonight, Harvey thinks he might need to change his perspective and ideas regarding this belief of his. Because when he stares at the woman in front of him, he doesn’t only see a fling or a temporary girlfriend. He sees her as someone he could love purely, someone he might be able to actually have a future with. Yes, he still couldn’t see love (but how is he to see when love is subjective in the first place?), but he could _feel_ it. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach as he continues to look at her. If that isn’t love, then Harvey doesn’t know what it is.

 

“No,” Harvey smiles. “Not tonight.”

 

\--

  

_"Are you going out with Donna Paulsen?”_

 

Harvey has expected Louis to ask him this question, but even then, it still annoys him when he finally hears him ask.

“I don’t have to tell you a damn thing, Louis.” His reply is fast, non-hesitant. Harvey doesn’t even bother to look up from his notes. Louis rolls his eyes, his feet firmly planted on the floor as he crosses his arms. “Look, Harvey, your reputation may be _impressive_ outside of the faculty, but inside, I _know you_ and I simply think that Donna deserves someone better than you.”

Harvey glares at the smaller but clearly fearless man in front of him. “You don’t get to have a say in this, Louis. And for the record, you know _nothing_ about me so why don’t you go back to your seat and stop annoying the hell out of me?”

“Have you forgotten that you got her number from me? I feel absolutely obligated to inform her if you’re planning on breaking her heart—“

_“Louis.”_ Harvey lets out a sigh, a hand up to stop him from continuing. “First off, it was a mutual exchange. You gave me her number in return for my moot points—“

  
“Exactly that! Why would you sacrifice winning a moot competition against me for her?”

“—and second of all, I am not planning on breaking her heart. You can have my word on that.” Harvey grimaces slightly; he has never promised such things in his life, especially not in front of his archenemy. “And _who says_ I sacrificed winning the moot competition? Please, Louis, I gave you my points, but that doesn’t mean you’ll win. So can you go now? Just go.”

Louis is staring at Harvey, mouth slightly ajar. He stays silent for a few seconds, and Harvey is starting to feel really uncomfortable. He tries to focus on the words on his notes, but is clearly distracted by Louis’ presence. It takes a few more seconds for him to look up again, hands folded together as he sighs heavily in defeat. “Yes, Louis?”

He almost regrets asking as Louis is giving him a look he knows too clearly. But before Harvey could say anything else, Louis holds a hand up. “I’m quite convinced my ears were deceiving me, but did you just say that you’re not going to break a girl’s heart?”

Harvey blinks a few times, unable to comprehend the question until Louis snaps his fingers in front of his eyes. “Harvey, answer me!”

“Yes.” He finally replies, though he sounds equally as uncertain as Louis had been in his question. “I guess I did.”

Louis is staring at him again in silence. Harvey groans mentally. “So _what?_ It’s not like I’m incapable of loving someone. I have feelings, too.”

The second that came out, Louis’ eyes widen, and Harvey suddenly catches himself in a tangled feeling of confusion. Did he really just say the ‘ L’ and the ‘F’ words together?

“Who are you and what have you done to Harvey Specter?” Louis jabs a finger in the air accusingly. “You are _not_ the Harvey I know.”

“Louis, I can assure you that I’m the Harvey you know. And _hate._ ” He reminds Louis readily, because he doesn’t want Louis to think that they’re good friends now that they’re discussing about his sudden change of personality.

“The Harvey I know _doesn’t_ care, let alone _love_.” Louis retorts back, but softens his tone after. “First the moot points, then the phone number. What the hell happened?”

Harvey doesn’t know what to say. He tries to look at his notes again, hoping that Louis would get tired of sniffing around and go back to his seat, but even then his brain could not register any of the words written on the pieces of papers on his desk. This week has been a roller coaster of emotions, and Harvey isn’t sure if he’s ready to admit that he’s in love with— _oh god._

 “Donna…happened.” was all Harvey could manage as a reply. He doesn’t look at Louis, knowing all too well that the latter’s eyes are probably opened so wide they could pop out of their sockets. He really doesn’t want to tell Louis any more information, so Harvey stands, stuffing his notes into his backpack and moving out from his seat.

“Harvey, wait.”

He is a few steps away from his desk when Louis calls out. Sighing, Harvey turns around to face the man he despises so much, not even sure why he bothers listening to Louis.

“You really…like her?”

Harvey meets Louis’ eyes, and something tells him that Louis isn’t being the usual busybody he is, but rather, Louis is awed and somewhat concerned. For who, he isn’t sure, but Harvey bets it’s both him and Donna. He shrugs, trying to make it as nonchalant as possible.

“Louis, if I didn’t like her, would I tell my moot strategy to you?”

 

\--

 

Harvey decides to skip lecture that day, after what has happened with Louis earlier. He eventually finds himself at the entrance of the drama school’s auditorium, taking deep breaths before entering. He pauses at the top flight of steps, looking down on the stage and seeing a few actors reciting their lines. Harvey scans the auditorium for the redhead, finally finding her on the first row with who he recognizes as the Dean of the faculty.

Harvey finds a seat at the back, not wanting to disturb anything, or anyone. Unluckily for him though, he came in at the wrong time as the director announces for a break, and all the actors begin to disperse from the stage. Harvey leans backward in reflex, quickly sliding down a little in his seat and pretending to be busy reading the book in his hand.

_“Harvey?”_

Several students had walked past his row when he hears his name being called out. Harvey doesn’t need to look up to know who that voice belongs to. Slightly embarrassed, Harvey gives a sheepish smile as he slowly stands. “Donna.”

 

Donna is giving him a look which says that she’s surprised to see him there, but she is also fighting a smile from appearing on her face, and Harvey deduces that it’s a good sort of surprise, not one which says she’s annoyed by his presence. “If I didn’t know you are a law student, I would have mistaken you as a theater student, given all the times you’re here.”

“Three times. _Three_.” Harvey gently corrects her, and Donna laughs. “Lucky number three, I guess.”

“I’ve no class today so I decided to drop by. Just to…see how you’re doing.” Harvey covers his lie with a cough, but Donna merely shakes her head. “I’m assuming classes today aren’t worth your attention?”

When Harvey doesn’t answer, Donna shrugs. “Thought so.”

“Do you want to grab lunch together?” Harvey asks, changing the topic effectively. “I know a great place just down the street…”

 

\--

 

As the date for Donna’s play approaches, Harvey begins to realize that he has yet to buy a ticket for any of the shows. He hadn’t thought much about it knowing that he has little to no interest for plays, and it would be a complete waste of time if he is to go for the play. But after spending hours with the redhead, Harvey finds himself falling deeper and deeper into the hole he has dug up himself—there is simply no turning back now.

The first person that comes into his mind, Harvey hates to admit, is Louis. Knowing that Louis is an avid fan of plays (and possibly Donna), he is sure that Louis would be able to help him out, though, deep down, Harvey hates the idea of Louis being the person he has to seek help from. After swallowing his pride and making sure he is slightly drunk (he’s definitely _not_ asking help from Louis Litt in a sober state of mind), Harvey blurts out over the phone that he needs a ticket to Donna’s play, and was wondering if Louis has any spare tickets left.

Without saying anything, Louis hangs up on him right after hearing those words. Harvey swears into the phone that he would strangle him the next time they meet in lecture.

The next morning, Louis is waiting by the doors of the lecture hall. Harvey groans when his eyes meet Louis’, and immediately, the smaller man (literally) bounces in his steps towards Harvey. “You were totally drunk when you called me last night.” He says in a singsong voice, and Harvey isn’t even sure why Louis is grinning from ear to ear.

 “Louis. Either you—“

“Shut up, Specter.” Louis interrupts, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a strip of play ticket. He waves it in front of Harvey gleefully, and Harvey scowls at him. “As a matter of fact, I _do_ have an extra ticket to Donna’s play.”

“But?”

“Do you think I’d give it to you so easily?” Louis chuckles in an evil manner, much to Harvey’s annoyance. “There’s a condition to this ticket, excluding the purchasing price. Do you want to hear it?”

 

Harvey groans, a sign that indicates he does, much to his own dismay. The things he does for the redhead, and she doesn’t even know.

 “You won’t use the first two moot arguments you told me for the moot competition.” Louis says in a ‘matter of fact’ tone. Harvey shakes his head immediately. “But that’s impossible, those two points are the main—“

“I _don’t_ care, Harvey. You’re not using those points if you want the ticket to the last show. Must I remind you that tickets are pre-purchased and you won’t be able to find anyone else who’s still selling it?”

A few seconds go by and Louis turns around. He walks a few steps before Harvey calls out hesitantly; “ _Fine_. I’ll take the deal.”

Louis does a double take, whirling around to face Harvey so quickly he nearly loses his balance. For a split second, he’s in total disbelief, but then suddenly, his face breaks into a grin. “Wow, you’re totally whipped, Specter.”

“The ticket.” Harvey merely says, a hand out as Louis hands the ticket over to him. The latter is still grinning, though Harvey isn’t in the mood to hear his teasing so he begins to walk away.

“And oh, Harvey? I bought that ticket together with mine so that would mean you’ll have to sit beside me during the play. Just so you know.”

Harvey groans.

 

\--

 

As it turns out, the play isn’t a disappointment at all, and by curtain call, Harvey definitely didn’t regret enduring Louis’ nonstop chattering the entire evening. He even found himself laughing at how Louis is sniffing hard into his handkerchief, eyes swollen and red. “You’re such a baby.” Harvey teases, and receives a punch in the shoulder in return.

The ending is indeed touching, Harvey has to admit. There is a certain feeling of insurmountable pride that is rising in his chest as he claps even harder; Donna’s acting was stellar and absolutely brilliant, and there are no law books in the world that could amount to the excitement Harvey is feeling at the moment.

“That was incredibly beautiful.” Harvey waits until Donna steps out from her circle of fans/friends, a bouquet of flowers in his hands as he hands it to the redhead. “This is just a little something for you. You were amazing.”

Donna blushes, accepting the flowers graciously with a smile. “Harvey, you didn’t have to.”

“You deserve some flowers for your performance. Louis is still crying, you know.” Harvey chuckles, moving to the side of the stage with Donna beside him.

“Well, what can I say?” She grins, shrugging. “I’m that good, I guess.”

“When you make it big next time, you won’t forget me, would you?” Harvey teases, and Donna shakes her head. “I could say the same thing about you, future hotshot lawyer.”

He laughs. “At this rate, the one who’s going to be the hotshot lawyer is Louis, not me.”

Donna raises an eyebrow quizzically at that. “What do you mean?”

“We’re up against each other in an internal moot competition next week. It’s supposed to bring you to places if you win, but…nevermind. It’s not that important.”

“Harvey, it doesn’t sound unimportant to me. What happened?”

He purses his lips together, not wanting to confess what he had given Louis in exchange for her number and play ticket. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Harvey. You _didn’t_.” Donna darts a stern look at his direction and Harvey couldn’t say anything. “Did you promise to let him win in exchange for the play ticket? I’m not blind, I saw that you two were sitting together and there is no way in hell you would sit with Louis unless you absolutely had to.”

“No! I didn’t make that promise. Though…it might as well be that way.” Harvey admits finally, looking away. He could hear Donna sighing.

“The Harvey I know wouldn’t back down from a challenge so easily. Whatever obstacle it is you’re facing, I’m sure you’ll be able to find a way to go round it.”

 Harvey finds it amusing how Donna is speaking of him as if she has known him for years, yet they’ve only known each other for a month. Her words though, are scarily accurate.

A newfound determination begins to boil inside him. Donna’s right, Harvey has never backed down so easily before the actual challenge begin. Even if he couldn’t use his first two arguments for his claim, it doesn’t necessarily mean he would lose. Sure, it would definitely be much more challenging to try and argue from a different perspective, but wouldn’t that be more interesting instead?

“Thank you, Donna. I needed that.” Harvey finally says, a grin forming on his face as he takes a step back. “In fact, I should probably head for the library now.”

Donna smiles. “I’ll see you later, then.”

 

\--

 

The night after the moot competition, Harvey asks Donna out for dinner. It isn’t a surprise though, as Donna has expected he would. What is surprising though is that after appetizer, Harvey invites her to the dance floor in the middle—there’s a slow song playing in the background, and Harvey doesn’t wait for her response as he pulls her to her feet. “Let’s dance.” He announces, much to her amusement.

“I didn’t know you dance.” She says, but follows him anyway.

“A gentleman should know.” Harvey replies, leading her to the dance floor. He smiles then, glancing into her direction. “Plus, this song is my dad’s.”

 Donna knows that Harvey’s father is a musician, but she has never heard any of his songs before. Tonight’s the first time, and she blushes at the thought of Harvey wanting to dance to his father’s song with her. They sway in silence to the soft beats of the music; Harvey’s hands are on her waist and Donna’s are around his neck.

“Harvey,” Donna starts after a while, breaking the silence between them. “You haven’t told me how you did for your moot.”

“The judges were impressed with my arguments,” Harvey answers slowly, “but I didn’t win.”

He sees how her face falls, so he puts on a smile. “It’s fine, actually. I was praised, nonetheless, so it’s all good.”

“I’ve heard stories around that you’ve never lost a moot competition before, at least not against Louis.” Donna hesitates slightly, but continues after Harvey remains quiet, waiting for her to finish her sentence. “So…you’re really fine about this?”

Harvey is surprised he could grin easily. Normally, he would have been upset if he’d lost, but somehow, tonight, he just didn’t care about winning or losing. “I am, Donna. I’m glad I put on a good fight, at the very least. I was prepared to just lose it until you knocked some sense into me. And Louis did all he could to win. I’d imagine lawyers to be like that.”

 “We’re back to the _lawyers can’t be trusted_ thing, huh?” Donna chuckles.

“More like _lawyers would do anything to win_.” Harvey is still grinning as he gently pulls her closer to him. “But it’s just about the same with that.”

 There is another wave of silence as the music stops, and they too, stopped dancing. Donna realizes how alarmingly close they are, but she doesn’t tear her gaze away from Harvey’s. She suddenly forgets that they’re in the middle of the dance floor and that there are so many eyes watching.

“Harvey?”

“Yeah?”

“Even if you say lawyers can’t be trusted,” She says softly, “I think you’re worth the risk.”

And then Donna leans forward, closing the gap in between them.

 

The kiss starts off slowly; their lips touch slightly and then Harvey deepens the kiss by pressing a hand firmly on her back, pulling her even closer. Their eyes are closed, he could smell the flower scent from her shampoo, could taste the sweetness of her lips. Harvey could feel his heart thundering beneath his chest, the butterflies in his stomach as he kisses her harder. That’s when their kiss becomes more aggressive; hungry and wanting for more. Their noses bump against each other a few times and Donna suddenly laughs against his lips. Even Harvey has to smile, pulling apart slightly just to look into her eyes for three seconds before he captures her lips for another kiss.

He could almost feel their hearts beat in unison.

Harvey had put off his thoughts of kissing Donna, or even touching her, for more than a month, but now that it has finally happened, Harvey has no regrets for deciding that way. The desire he has for her had built over that month, and now that Donna’s in his arms, Harvey feels like there is no better place to be than here, right now.

This must be what home feels like.

 

\--

 

A few years later, Harvey is beginning to regret becoming a lawyer. Especially when he is once again stuck in this dinner party for the third consecutive night, and Jessica has already threatened him beforehand not to pay him his salary if he tries to leave midway through the party.

The only consolation he could give himself is the fact that his plus one is beside him, and she is utterly gorgeous in that black dinner dress she’s wearing. The moment they enter the room though, a few people surround Donna and introduce themselves as her fans. Harvey could only stare in amusement for a moment before he pulls her away politely from them, telling the guests to give Donna some space to breathe.

 

“Don’t lie to yourself, Harvey.” Donna says out of the blue, after Harvey has pulled her away. Harvey looks at her in surprise. “What lie?”

“Being a lawyer is all you ever wanted.” She simply says as though she could read his mind earlier. She takes a sip from the glass of wine she is holding as Harvey chuckles. “You’re dangerous.”

“And you’re too obvious.”

“I love you.”

“I know.” Donna winks, setting her glass on the bar counter and staring into the crowd of people in the ballroom. “Hmm…Jessica’s talking to that Jeff Malone guy again. I wonder where Louis is.”

 

Harvey purposely blocks her view, so that she is now looking at him again. “What?”

“You can’t just leave that conversation hanging like _that._ ” He half teases in a casual manner. “Especially not after what I just told you.”

“Well, I wasn’t. Hence, the question of where Louis is.” Donna blinks, and Harvey knows she’s doing it on purpose.

“I don’t like how Louis is always popping up randomly in our conversations.” He groans.

“He’s a nice guy, Harvey.” Donna shrugs.

“Yeah, and you should know by now never to trust a lawyer.”

Amused, Donna’s lips curved upward slightly. “Harvey, have you forgotten you’re a lawyer, too?”

“Well, I’m different.” He retorts before adding, “With you, it’s different.”

 

She shrugs playfully, a smile graces her lips as Harvey pulls her closer to him. Donna marvels silently to herself how his eyes never left hers, how he leans in to kiss her. “Either way, I’ll take my chances.” She says eventually, smiling against his lips.

“Good.” He replies when they break apart, his right hand now resting on the nape of her neck, while the other is still placed firmly around her waist. “You’re doing it again.” Donna whispers, and Harvey raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Doing what?”

“Looking at me with that look on your face.” The redhead seldom blushes, but when she does, it’s so obvious that she has to look away shyly. She waits for him to ask _what look?_ but Harvey stays quiet and Donna just knows that he knows what she had meant. It’s the same look he has given her all this while, unchanged, even after all these years.

 

“That I’m the luckiest man on earth to have you in my arms?” Harvey asks under his breath a few seconds after.

“God, Specter.” Donna couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so cheesy.”

Harvey doesn’t answer to that, instead, he changes the topic. “Hey, why don’t you and I ditch this awful party and go back home?”

She laughs again. “What about Jessica and Louis?”

“To hell with them, I don’t care.”

“ _Harvey_.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell Jessica, but Louis…”

Harvey begins to walk towards Jessica’s direction, but stops when he hears Donna calling his name. He turns around. “Yes, Donna?”

She pauses, their eyes meeting once again. Before she could say anything though, Harvey grins and says, “I know, Donna. I _know_. You love me too.”

 

Donna simply smiles.

 

\--

  

In all truth and honesty, Harvey still doesn’t believe that everything happens for a reason. But meeting Donna Paulsen—that _definitely_ happened for a reason; to teach him that true love does exist.

It exists every time Harvey looks at Donna and she looks back, exists every time he feels his heart melt when their eyes meet (though Harvey doesn’t think he would ever admit that to _anybody_ ).

It exists even years later, when Harvey could feel himself at ease the moment she walks through the door. He could still feel the butterflies in his stomach, _undying_ , every time she appears in front of him, every time he kisses her. It exists when he wakes up in the morning and she’s right there beside him, sunlight streaming through the curtains and onto the red threads sprawled everywhere on his pillow, and all Harvey could think of is how _beautiful_ she is, and how lucky _he_ is.

Yes, Harvey didn’t believe in true love. It was merely something that was so meaningless to him, a word in the English dictionary that didn’t quite make any sense. But when he proposed to Donna and she said yes, and he could feel his heart bursting with joy—that was then that Harvey realized that all this time, he _does_ believe in true love, and true love exists in the form of Donna Paulsen.

 

\--

(end)

 


End file.
